Civil Wedding

So it is done - the first step that is. We have had a lovely weekend in Germany and enjoyed the civil ceremony in Graefenthal with our family and friends in Germany.

Everything went very well and we are now officially Mr. and Mrs. Voss. The big celebration is still up ahead in Poland but for the time being, it feels good to be a ring bearer already, so the church ceremony is going to be an additional promise rather then the full thing.

On an interesting side note, the Sunday after our wedding coincided with the match Germany vs. Poland, which was the groups first match for the Euro 2008 championship. Needless to say, it was a funny conclusion of the weekend for both our dads, who watched the match while we were already on the plane back to Ireland.

Gained in translation

It has been an eventful two weeks, with ups and downs, pleasant surprises and not so pleasent proverbial spanners thrown into the works of our wedding preperations.

As an example, we thought we had our paperwork in order for the German wedding, but unfortunately, that was not the case. The office in Poland had refused to issue a paper valid for more than 3 months, even though according to various sources, these papers exist on an EU basis for a validity of 6 months.

That was not a problem though, or so we thought, given that Kasia could pick it up 3 month before the date (we are talking about the Polish version of the Ehefaehigkeitszeugnis or Certificate of Marriagability here). Well, werent we in for a treat, when it turned out that the paper was issued on March 7th and thereby, according to German law, no longer valid after June 6th. Our wedding was to be on June 7th.

Well, even that should not have proven a problem, was it not for the Polish office refusing to reissue, claiming it was valid on the 7th, too, whilst the German office refused to accept it, claiming it expired on the 6th. At this stage Kasia's father got involved, forcing the Polish office to reply with an official statement certifying the validity including the 7th. They however replied that the document was valid 3 month and refused to confirm if this meant the 6th or the 7th.

To cut a long story short, our court translator in Germany, the very helpful Danuta Treder from Pfalzdorf, Goch, called the office in Germany, explained the situation, then contacted the office in Poland via telephone, got their official statement, got back to the German office, negotiating a resolution that consisted of her remark on the official translation stating that the document was vaild on the 7th of June. With her official seal on the document including this note, the Standesamt in Goch now finally accepted the validity and has now confirmed the date of the 7th, albeit with the caveat that the ceremony is to be held at 10, not 1030.

I have to point out that Mrs Treder did all of this on her own initiative, without us even asking her for this wonderful assistance. We certainly feel a great deal of gratitude towards her and will have to make sure to express this (there is a bottle of finest Irish whiskey inbound at least).

Pre Marriage Course

This week finally saw us tick one of the last few boxes that are required to get married in the eye of the law and the lord: The Pre-Marriage Course.

Now, since November of last year, this is compulsory agian in the Republic of Ireland and even though we are not getting married in the Republic, we could make use of the ample offers around the country for our wedding, too.

Basically, the pre-marriage course is designed to help couples to understand what they are "getting themselves into" so to say. Most of them are held by religious organisations, and to be frank, my expectations towards their content and delivery were very low. I expected campaigns against contraception, the deadly sin that is divorce and a contract to be signed that the family is going to go to church every Sunday from now on.

Save to say, I was positively surprised. We attended our course in Terenure College, which was only 10 minutes by car from our place here. It was delivered by a group of speakers in four sessions, led by Fr. Patrick Rogers from together.ie. At only 120 Euro per couple and layed out as a full Saturday session, rather than having to spread the time over two days, this was perfectly fitting into our schedule.

Topics included very practical advice on conflict resolution, communications, legal requirements, ceremonial suggestions, options for music and, in a far less catholic way than I had feared, methods of family planning. The session completed with a group question and answer session with a very down to earth young couple giving an insight into their married live for the last 15 years.

All speakers, and the good father in particular, were entertaining and open, and never preaching. They provided insights from very practical advice like "ladies mind the nails if you are putting on his condom" to Fr. Rogers quoting the Song of Salomon (probably the bible's most pornographic text) as an example of an entertaining but probably inappropriate reading for the wedding ceremony.

The only one moment I had to cringe, was during the second session, when we went, rather aprubtly, from the options how to share work around the house evenly between partners to the layout of a vagina. It literally went something like "... other couples have a different approach, because they are both working *click* this is a picture of the female genitalia...". No comment...

On the whole, I never though I would say it, but I actually enjoyed the day and found it great to be able to hear other couples talk about their experiences. Also, the setting of Terenure college was pretty nice and the layout of the day, with ample breaks, free sandwiches, tea and coffee, made it a nice Saturday.

I can wholeheartedly recommend the course to anyone looking for a pre-marriage course. Details are available at the website together.ie.